Things Overheard At Wonderfest

[Lord Darth Beavis]

Damn, you could cut glass with that!

Looks like a dog's pecker.

Both by The Cat

[Lord Darth Beavis]

George, your can wouldn't look like that if you had the magic blue pill!--Das Phule

[Lord Darth Beavis]

No means no, but not when it comes to me!--REL's daughter

[Lord Darth Beavis]

I want to hear you whine.--Trekman Scott

Hey, this still has resin on it.--Das Phule
That's what SHE said!--The Cat

No fuckers!--Trekman Scott

That really stiffened your bristles, didn't it?--The Cat

That's just a pour stub.--Das Phule
That's what she said!--The Cat

Turtles and whores, turtles and whores.--Mark Yungblut

[Lord Darth Beavis]

God damn, my gout's acting up. I'm gonna need a wheelchair to get around. Will you push me?--Das Phule to Mark Yungblut

Yeah, but only if I can tell everybody you're due in 2 weeks.--Marku Yungblut to Das Phule

You two are together?--Random waitress to Mark Yungblut and Padawan v2.0

[Lord Darth Beavis]

Don't you EVER tell me your farts don't stink! You've got dead things living in you!--The Cat to Padawan v2.0

[Lord Darth Beavis]

That's why I don't do cyber-sex. I can't type that fast two-handed, much less one-handed!--Da Beav

[Lord Darth Beavis]

Sal, PLEASE, take Erin to bed! I wanna be able to sleep unmolested!--Da Beav

[The Cat]

"Excuse me while I go and try to marry Eric." - Dasphule

[Lord Darth Beavis]

I kinda like girls. They have bumps and holes.--Das Phule

[Lord Darth Beavis]

Ashley, are you texting the police?--The Cat to REL's daughter

[Lord Darth Beavis]

Don't steal a dead guy's porn name!--Das Phule to Jim NCC-1701A

[Godfather]

"An order of fried buttholes, please." -Dasphule to the waitress at Carrabba's

[Godfather]

"I'm not wiping that white shit of your hand..." -Dasphule to MissHell

"Which would you rather eat, shit or cum?" -Dasphule to The Cat

"You two can't fit in Pat's scooter." -Dasphule to Mark Yungblut (after the KCR pew-pew fest)

"If I wanted a rush, I'd get a hard-on and slam it with a car door." -Lakespeed

"I'm not smelling a strange cup. Could be cat shit in there, or Cat's shit..." -Mark Yungblut

"Watch out... Pat and I are having a sword fight." -The Cat

"I'm not really drunk until someone goes to the hospital." -Dasphule

"Five... five dollar footlong!" -The Cat
"Boy, won't she be surprised when I show her my footlong with the extras." -Me

"You have nice nipples. You work them out?" -Dasphule to The Cat

"Even my wife is not allowed to play with my nipples." -Dasphule

"Hold that to you nipples. It's cold!" -The Cat
"It's definitely doing something..." -Lakespeed
"Dang, that looks like a lil' dog's pecker." -The Cat

"I know he's clean. I watched him shower. Uh, wait..." -Dasphule

[Godfather]

"He's a bigger dyke than my female cousin." -Dasphule

"Sorry, she doesn't do tables." - Scott Washington

"Don't go away, we won't get any on ya!" -Dasphule

"No sheep for you today, fucker." -The Cat
"Nope. They're all in New Zealand." -Jim NCC-1701A (aka. Sting)

"Can I put my finger in your bum?" -Dasphule to Trekmanscott

"Jim, singing like Sting is gonna make him moist." -Me to Jim NCC-1701A

"What's gratifying is that he and I have been sharing loads all year..." -Mark Yungblut

"Why? Cuz I didn't give him a reach around?" -The Cat

"Whoa! Wear a glove... don't know where that's been." -P@t

"Girl grabbing another girl is supposed to turn you on dude." -Mark Yungblut to Zysurge

"What do turtles and whores have in common? They're both called snappers." -Neb
"And if they're turned on their backs, they're fucked." -P@t

"There's rubber on this pour stub." -Dasphule
"That's what she said..." -The Cat

"You gay freaking russian sailor!" -P@t
"Spasiba baby!" -Dasphule

"He is really particular about who grabs his greeblies." -LDB